


What if Felix wasn't in stray kids?

by Spookykittycat



Category: Kpop - Fandom, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Everyone Loves Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, How Do I Tag, Hurt Felix, I Don't Even Know, No Romance, No Smut, Other, Sad Bang Chan, Sad Han Jisung | Han, Sad Hwang Hyunjin, Sad Kim Seungmin, Sad Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Sad Lee Minho | Lee Know, Sad Seo Changbin, Sad Yang Jeongin | I.N, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Sorry Not Sorry, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29161185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spookykittycat/pseuds/Spookykittycat
Summary: Felix couldn't do this anymore. Staying in JYP was becoming a burden to hard to carry for him. Minho had been added back to the team, but he hadn't. Felix thought that said quite a lot about his talent. So he decided, he was going to switch company, get a "fresh" start. And he would do it without telling his ex members. Even if it would be the hardest thing he'd ever done.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin & Lee Felix, Lee Felix & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix & Original Character(s), Lee Felix & Seo Changbin, Lee Felix & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) & Everyone, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)/Everyone, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii! Thanks for clicking on my story! I just wanna tell you already that I probably made some mistakes, and will probably make more mistakes in future chapters as well, like grammar wise and stuff like that. English isn't my first language and since I'm 13 my english really isn't that advanced. So don't expect any super complicated words haha. N e ways this was just an idea of mine, and I just really wanted to write it out lol. Hope u enjoy! (Also don't get your Hope's up I'm not that good of a writer lmao)

_**"Your korean is your biggest problem right now"** _

_**"So I'm sorry, but this time you won't be able to continue with the team"** _

Felix woke up panting, sitting up and staring in to the darkness of his room. He came to the realization that it had all just been a dream. He sighed and closed his eyes before falling back, resting against his soft mattress.

Ever since that horrendous day three years ago, he'd relive that moment in his dreams every now and then. It was always the same exact moment, the moment he understood that he wasn't good enough, that he was actually getting eliminated.

_**Three years prior:** _

He couldn't feel anything, couldn't think anything. He felt...numb. And then when JYP left the room, all his feelings hit him at once, sadness, anger, disappointment. And something just broke inside of him.

When he looked at his members, their eyes were filled with sorrow. They lost another brother.

Felix just sobbed his way through the goodbyes, apologizing over and over again to his brothers for not being good enough. He spent one last night at the dorm, and tried to avoid the other members as much as possible.

They tried to approach him multiple times during his last night there, but every time Felix just answered with a few words back and then fled the conversation. If you could even call them conversations.

He just couldn't stand the intense feeling of shame he felt when he looked at them.

He left early in the morning, a manager picking him up to drive him to the trainee dorms. Felix had felt a lot less miserable when he found out he was living in the same dorm as Minho, the older dancer making him feel a bit comfortable with the current situation.

Minho had called him as soon as he found out what had happened. Providing him with comforting words that certainly made Felix feel a bit better about the elimination. Minho knew how it felt, he understood the feeling of shame, sadness and anger that Felix was going through, because he had gone through it too.

Minho had tried to convince him that this would be a good opportunity for them, a fresh start. Felix didn't really know if he believed him, hell, he didn't even know if Minho himself believed in it. But he surely hoped the older boy was right.

_**(Minho's pov)** _

Minho was standing outside of the dorms, shivering in the cold weather. Even though he was obviously sad over the fact that Felix got eliminated, he couldn't help but feel a bit excited over getting to train and live with him again.

The aussie had a bright energy that and a smile that could light up a room. Minho had missed him. He crossed his arms over his chest in order to maintain some warmth.

Why wasn't Felix here yet? He had gotten a text about 15 minutes ago saying that he was on his way. That meant he should arrive about now. Minho looked out over the road, squinting, he saw a familiar looking car approaching. As the car came closer, he could see the younger dancer in the backseat.

It looked like he was occupied by some kind of mobile game. Minho smiled to himself, he'd really missed the younger boy.

The car door opened and out stepped the aussie. He looked around for a moment before noticing Minho. 

"Hyung!" Felix smiled and ran towards him. Minho opened his arms and greeted the aussie with a bone crushing hug. It felt so good to have him in his arms again.

Minho hadn't been able to meet up with the members after his elimination, he, himself had been busy with training, trying to improve as much as he could, and the stray kids members had been busy with the survival show going on. So they had solemnly relied on just video calls and messages. So even if he'd rather have everyone here. It felt really good to see atleast one of them again.

"Hyung, I can't breath" Felix squealed. Minho released the younger from his grip and smiled apologetically at him. "Sorry Lix, I just really missed you"

Felix smiled back, but Minho noticed that it didn't quite reach the young boy's eyes. "I missed you too hyung"

Minho grabbed the younger boy's wrist and dragged him towards the appartment complex. "Ok, enough with all this sappy stuff, let me show you around!"

"Hyung stop pulling my wrist like that, it huuuurts" Felix whined. Minho fondly rolled his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic Lix" Felix looked at him, pretending to be offended. "Me? Dramatic? Never!"

Minho just pulled his wrist harder ignoring Felix's annoyed mumbling. Minho thought it sounded an awful lot like he was casting some kind of curse on him. And honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if that was exactly what the younger dancer was currently doing.

Minho explained that they currently shared the dorm with 4 other trainees, but that they were currently at the company practicing.

He then showed him to the shared bedroom, there was one bunk bed against one side of the room, two in the middle, and one on the other side. Felix didn't imagine how warm it had to be in there at nighttime. 

Minho went to shower while Felix unpacked his stuff. He sent a message in stray kids group chat, telling them that he had arrived at the dorms safely. His friends immediately spammed him with questions, wanting to know everything possible about everything that had happened after Felix left the stray kids dorm.

Felix snorted, they were all really adamant about knowing every single little detail. He tried to respond to them all and detailed as he could, and when they finally seemed satisfied with the answers he'd given them, Felix's new roommates had arrived.

Felix quickly said bye to his (now ex members), and went out to greet the other trainees.

"Maybe Minho hyung was right? Maybe this won't be so bad after all? " 

But boy was he wrong.


	2. Ends and new starts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so sorry, but this chapter kinda SUCKS. I wrote the second half while being half asleep, so the quality just get worse and worse lmao. Anyways I know it's kinda messy, but it will get better I promise!

  


_**(Felix pov)** _

Minho was gone, added back into stray kids. And Felix was now on his own. He couldn't bother to make friends with the other trainees, they would probably leave him too. 

  


Stray kids were debuting in a few days. And Felix couldn't explain with words how happy he was for his brothers, they had all worked so hard for this. And now, all of their hard work was finally paying off, after all these years of practicing everyday from early morning to late nights. 

  


But Felix wasn't there to debut with them. 

  


Felix practiced harder than he'd ever had before, barely having any time for sleeping or eating. At first he felt fine, a bit more tired than usual, and yes, he'd lost some weight. But it was fine right? He was perfectly healthy. 

  


Until one day, when everything caught up with him. 

  


His mental and physical health was decaying way to fast. And he often found himself not even having the energy to get out of bed. But he still did, because he HAD to improve. Even if it felt like he was going on autopilot, not thinking anymore, just doing. 

  


On one of those days where he was just to tired to even get out of bed. He took some time to think about everything, and in the end he came to the realization that he wasn't happy anymore. 

  


He didn't have any motivation, and the only reason he was still in JYP was because of the intense shame of not being good enough to debut in stray kids. It was at that moment he realized that this was all wrong. And then he made one of the best decisions he'd ever make. 

  


He walked to the jyp building, and asked to switch entertainment. And soon enough, he was transferred to a company called hexagon entertainment. A small entertainment created just a few years back. 

  


His last nights at JYP were filled by nightmares, most of them of his ex-members being ashamed of him for "giving up". But Felix wasn't giving up, he was giving himself a new opportunity. Said ex-members had tried contacting him multiple times, becoming increasingly worried when Felix didn't answer their messages. 

  


They were even close to going to the trainee dorms to hunt him down themselves, but their manager had stopped them, their debut was just a few weeks away, and they couldn't afford to waste any time. 

  


Felix just didn't have the heart to tell them that he was leaving, in a way it felt like he was betraying them. So he decided to just not tell them at all. And they day he left JYP, with a heavy heart he blocked them all. 

He wanted to be selfish, wanted to message them and tell them he was okay. But he couldn't waste any more of their time anymore. He wasn't going to be a burden, not anymore. He'd already damaged them too much. 

  


_**(Bang chan pov)** _

  


It had been a stressful week for them all, their debut coming closer and with each day, but there was something else underlying the cause of their stress. 

  


A certain dancer hadn't answered any of their messages in ages. They missed him and wanted nothing more than him being there with them, preparing for their debut as 8. But that wasn't the case, and no one had seen Felix since Minho came back about 1 and a half month ago.

  


"I swear, if he doesn't answer my messages soon, I will hunt him down myself and make him!" Jisung angrily muttered. Pacing back and front in their waiting room. They just had their debut stage, and after the adrenalinerush had gone down, they came to think about Felix again. 

  


"You could always try again hyung?" Jeongin hopefully asked, still hoping for the dancer to just magically text them back. Jisung sighed and slumped down against the sofa. 

"Sure, it doesn't hurt to try I guess" he muttered. Minho and Chan made eye contact across the room. Chan could see the guilt behind Minho's eyes. He probably felt like it was his fault that Felix stopped contacting them. 

  


Chan sighed. "Such a great leader you are" he muttered, his head filled with self-hatred and guilt, "your family is falling apart and you don't even know what to do" 

  


A strangled noise came from Jisung's throat, immediately grabbing everyone's attention. "He blocked me!" Jisung said showing his bandmates his phone screen. 

  


"What?!" Hyunjin screeched, forcefully grabbing the phone from the rapper. He looked back up, confusion in his eyes. Chan quickly grabbed his own phone from his back pocket, pulling up his conversation with Felix. Just to be met with the same thing, blocked. 

  


One after each other they all checked their phones, all getting the same result. 

  


"Why?" Seungmin said, his voice laced with confusion and guilt, "what did we do?" 

It hurt Chan to see the usually happy Seungmin so lost

Minho shook his head. "Nothing, we did nothing" 

  


"He wouldn't just block us for no reason Minho" Changbin argued. 

  


"Maybe he got sad seeing us debut without him?" Jeongin whispered, voice wavering. And Minho immediately reassured the maknae that it wasn't their fault, nor Felix's. 

  


Chan bit his lip. Felix wasn't jealous, right? He couldn't be. He didn't have time to think more aboutit though, realizing he needed to calm his team down.

  


"Hey!" Chan shouted, making everyone turn to stare at him. 

  


"I'll go down to the trainee dorms later and talk to him, but right now, we shouldn't be sad. I mean come on, we just debuted!"

A smile lit up Jeongin's face. "Yea, Chan hyung's right! We need to celebrate!"

The other members agreed, and soon it was decided they were going to have a small party at their dorm.

A couple hours later Chan was walking down the street, on his way to Felix's dorm.

The party had been exactly what they needed to shake of their worries and stress for awhile. Chan could almost still taste the chocolate cake the staff had surprised them with.

  


Just enjoying the walk, he arrived quicker than he originally thought.

  


One of the trainees living there answered the door, eyes widening to the size of plates when he saw who it was.

  


Chan just inwardly laughed, and introduced himself. Even if it was pretty obvious the trainee already knew exactly who he was. 

  


"Is Lee Felix home?" Chan politely asked. The trainee looked at him, clearly confused. 

"What do you mean sunbaenim? Lee Felix left the company two weeks ago" Now it was Chan's turn to be surprised. 

He stared at the trainee, not wanting to believe it. Felix left JYP? No, no, no, that couldn't be true. He felt himself starting to panic and quickly excused hinself before rushing back outside. 

Different thoughts were rushing through his head at a million miles per hour. 

This was not going to be fun to explain to his members.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so much for reading! It really means a lot to me that people read what I write :) Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated haha


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm so, this chapter is not about stray kids at all lmao. It's just stories of how Felix got closer with his new members. The format can be a bit messy and weird, it can also suck, probably both honestly. But please read it anyways lol. It really makes me happy that people read what I write :)

(Present time) 

"Lix" Hyejun, the mom of the group, shouted from the kitchen, "Leave Cas alone!" 

Felix just ignored him, blissfully continuing tickling Lucas. 

Said boy was squirming around on their living room floor, squealing, and occasionally sending Felix murderous glances. 

Hajoon sighed, eyeing the two on the floor, contemplating if he should intervene. 

"H-hyung you better fucking help m-me, or-or I'll rip your t-tongue out" Lucas threatened. 

Hajoon knew not to mess with Lucas, because even though he was small, he was not to be underestimated. 

Once Hiroto ate all of his favourite chips, and when Lucas found out, all hell broke loose, it ended with Hiroto being locked out on the balcony for 3 hours, in the rain. 

You would've thought Hiroto knew not to mess with Lucas after that. But he was a mischievous little brat, and also Felix's partner in crime, and together they made sure to make Lucas suffer as much as they could.

As both the leader of the group, and the official "dad" of the group, Hajoon dealt with this shit atleast three times a day. And you could say he was used to it by now. 

With ease he just picked Felix up, and then dropped him at the couch. Felix landed with an "oufff" and Lucas hurriedly stood up, giving Felix the finger before running off to God knows where. 

"Whyyy hyungggg" Felix whined. Hajoon rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly at the younger boy, before sitting down next to him. 

Immediately Felix put his head on the older's shoulder, cuddling up against Hajoon's very toned body. Finding comfort in his familiar scent. 

They had all been together for 3 years now, and they were like a family. Actually, screw "like a family" they were a family. 

And they were finally getting ready to debut under the name UNI-VERSE. Uni, standing for united, and verse for diverse. Meaning that they were all different, but had come together to do..something? And they were definitely all different. 

Hyejun, korean, born 1997, therefore the oldest, main vocal and official "mom and chef the group", he was also one of the most caring and protective people Felix knew. 

(Flashback)

A month after Felix arrived at the dorm, he caught a stomach bug, emptying out his stomach in the toilet at three am. 

Too shy to ask for help, he tried his best to get through it himself. But after spending 1.5 hours with his head in a toilet bowl, vomiting until there weren't anything to puke up, and a headache that felt like it was splitting his head in half, he realized he needed help. 

He had stumbled into their shared room, barely having the energy to walk, he decided to just wake up the first person he stumbled across in the dark room. Fortunately for him, it was one of his hyungs. Hyejun specifically. 

The vocal was a bit confused at first, blinking up at Felix with tired eyes. But as soon as he realized what was happening he went full into mother hen mode. 

He had carefully led Felix back to the toilet, before going to get painkillers and towels. He had stayed up the whole night with Felix, providing the aussie with reassuring whispers and soft touches. 

Hajoon, korean, born 1998, leader, lead vocal, and rapper and official "dad of the group" 

When Felix first met Hajoon, he had honestly been a bit scared. Standing at 184 cm, he was the tallest of the team, and also the biggest of the team. 

He loved working out, spending a lot of his time in the gym. And sometimes, he even managed to drag one of the other members with him to the gym.  
Felix would never forget the first time he worked out with Hajoon. 

(Flashback)

It was a month after he joined the company, and at that point he was still awkward with everyone, and especially Hajoon. 

Felix was to scared to approach him, thinking Hajoon was cold and scary. So understandably, he was a bit nervous about spending time alone with him. 

But soon he found out it was the exact opposite, Hajoon was like a big cute teddy bear. And his hugs were the best. 

During their session, Felix slipped and hit his head on a piece of equipment, and in no time, Hajoon was there beside him, worriedly checking for possible injuries. 

Felix just waved it off, a blush painting his cheeks. Hajoon didn't seem to care though, as he immediately took Felix home. 

That night Felix fell asleep with a varm feeling in his heart. Maybe, maybe, this would turn out good in the end. 

Lucas, Korean-American, born 1999, main rapper, producer. Also, the smallest on their team, compared to Hajoon's 184 cm, Lucas stood at only 162 cm. This was something the members liked to remind him of everyday, and his reaction never disappointed them. He wasn't nicknamed "little angry gnome" for no reason. 

(Flashback)

Even though Felix did tease him a lot, he actually found a lot of comfort in speaking with Lucas, as he was able to speak his native language. 

And even if Lucas wasn't really the one to show a lot of affection, you could see that he really loved his members a lot. 

Hiroto Kamlyn, Japanese, born 2002, vocal, visual, lead dancer, and Felix's partner in crime. The younger was the first Felix met, them joining the same day. Whereas Felix was shy, Hiroto had been the exact opposite. 

(Flashback)

He had immediately tried to initiate a conversation with Felix, and soon enough Felix found himself knowing quite a lot about the younger's life. He was 14 years old, and from Fukuoka, Japan. He had three older sisters and two dogs, and this was his first time being alway from his family for more than two weeks. 

Felix could hear his voice trembling when he was talking about his family, Felix knew how it felt. He had gone through it too when he first moved to korea. And suddenly, he had felt an urge to protect Hiroto, to take him into his arms, and protect him from the harsh world that he was about to enter. And that was exactly what he had done. 

At first Hiroto froze, not prepared. But soon he relaxed in Felix's arms and started crying against his chest, as Felix had stroked his back softly. 

Soon, the boy was back to his energetic behavior, and ran off to find someone to prank.

Dayeong, born 2005, therefore the groups maknae, lead vocal, and the official "cutie" 

(Flashback)

Felix had lived in the dorms for 2 months, and one of the things he'd learnt about the younger was that he was very sensitive. Not sensitive in the way where he couldn't take a lighthearted joke from family or close friends. But when it came from people he didn't know well, it was a very different case. 

It was the same story when it came to trainers at the company. One day, Felix was helping Dayeong practice a choreo for their monthly evaluation when a manager had walked in. 

He just stood in a corner, quietly observing them as they danced. When they were done, he had turned to Dayeong, looking displeased. 

"Dayeong-ah, you need to do better than that, otherwise you'll look like trash next to the other members" 

Dayeong, new to the trainee life, and only 14 years old, had taken it way to seriously, and Felix could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

He had gone up to him, and taken him in his arms. Promising over and over again that he wasn't trash, and that he was good enough. 

Felix could see himself in the younger boy, and swore to protect the maknae from the harshness of reality for as long as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Lucas my brain just couldn't come up with anything for you. Thanks a lot for reading btw!


	4. This is not an update sorry

Hi guys! I'm really sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to write any more chapters in the nearest future as I have fractured my wrist. 

Therefore I have a very annoying cast on my arm, which makes typing wayyy harder since I write everything on my phone.

I'm sincerely sorry and I hope that I'll be back to writing soon. And who knows, maybe I'll find a way to write anyways, you never know haha. 

Thanks for reading this and I hope you have an amazing day, peace out.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank u sooo much for reading, honestly, It means the world to me! If u have any suggestions on things you'd like me to change please comment! Also, the next chapters will be longer, I promise! I was just really eager to post this hehe.


End file.
